Language & Pain Issues

      Have you ever experienced any type of pain -mental or physical- that you have never been able to explain to anyone? Sometimes our language doesn't fully encompass everything we want to say, to tell others exactly what we want them to know. Using language to communicate to others is taking what you see in your own head, and transmitting that idea, or that image to another persons' head. If you think about it, it's a type of telepathy. We take something that only we have felt, or experienced in our own unique way, and get others to experience it in a similar fashion.
      But back to the first question, how do we describe pain? How is it that we can feel mental pain in our bodies, and physical pains in our minds. It seems as if the two should be mutually exclusive, when in reality, they aren't. In some complex way, our physical and mental pain have found a way to merge together and create one large writhing mass of discomfort. Right now, my back hurts, but how can I explain the difference between the ache of my upper back from doing homework for 6 hours straight in a wooden chair, and the pain in my lower back from my newly formed stress fractures? Both ache, and are causing me unreasonable amounts of discomfort, and are in very close proximity with one another.
      I am not exactly sure what the point of this post is. It might be that I am unsure of how to express my discomfort, or it may be just a fake-deep way of complaining about the aches in my back. All I'm saying is that it can sometimes be hard to distinguish between small differences using the limited words that are contained in the English vocabulary.

12/2 What I've Been Learning About Social Justice

I’ve been learning a lot about social justice and taking a stand. My eyes have been opened to the many different groups that are fighting for social justice. Why do they have to fight for equal rights? Why cant they just be treated fairly? Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. I don’t understand why it has to be this way. Everyone is equal, so why cant why just treat each other that way? I know this isn’t the way it is, but what’s keeping it from being this way? The quote that we were taught during the beginning of the year really fits in this situation. “Just like me, they want to happy.”

Thomas and I have had an interesting conversations about this last week.  We wrote for a few minutes in class like we usually do, and I shared my thoughts with Thomas about what I wrote. I wrote in my journal about racism and where it comes from. Where does racism come from? How did it start? Why don’t humans just accept and love each other? These are some of the questions that I shared with Thomas. He told me that he has also thought of these questions before, and we had a interesting and enlightening  conversation about the questions I mentioned. Thomas and I both agreed that we couldn’t really think of how and where racism started, and we couldn’t think of how to stop it either. We figured racism has always been there, and it will probably always be a problem. What does racism come from? What things , in todays society and societies of the past, elicit racism?

Emptiness

Why do we look for things of this world to give us security, self confidence, and fulfillment?

I think it's because the message that worldly things can fulfill us is all around us. It's on TV, countless magazines, many songs, and it dominates advertisement. We can't even go to the store without being bombarded by empty promises for a more fulfilling life.
A better husband, boyfriend, wife, car, house, clothing, job, body, etc.
Our thought process becomes distorted and we truly start to believe that if we only have _________ then our lives would be better.
I'm here bring you back to reality: every single thing that this world has to offer is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can fill the cup of a wounded, broken, insecure heart.
It is an emptiness only God can fulfill.

In a world where it is so tempting to believe these lies, I urge you to find happiness in yourself.

Affirmations

I find it a little bit unfair that we had to choose just one person to talk about that has inspired us this semester. I understand that specifics are good, but everyone has inspired me in different ways. I also know that had it not been for us being in this University Seminar together, I probably never would have talked to any of you. We are just all going down such different career paths that we probably wouldn't have even known each other. So I’m glad we do!

All of us clearly have things that we stand for, and those things have shown through multiple times throughout the semester. The fact that we were all able to talk with each other freely and openly disagree with things in our discussion-based class is inspiring to me. It is also inspiring to see what fires everyone up and the things that everyone is passionate about. 

One of my favorite class periods was the entry about everyone’s gifts and talents that we later shared with the class. It is important to recognize what we are good at and it gave everyone, or at least me, insight into who you all are as people. 

I hope that everyone feels that they can take away something from this class and getting to know everyone a little better, because I feel that I definitely have. 

We learned this semester that disagreeing with something is okay and that the things that make you mad should make you want to do something to change it, and talking with some of you about what you did your projects over and hearing about what y'all care about is inspiring to me. 

You all  have inspired me in one way or another with something you have shared either from your notebook or with the whole class. 

I hope we are all able to stay in touch and share the things that matter to us with each other, and I hope we keep taking stands for the things that matter to us. 

Thank y'all for a great semester! 

P.S. sorry this is really cheesy

Staying Focused and Calm

Such is easier said than done... But during the final week of the semester it is imperative to stay focused and de-stressed!

There are a number of ways to to accomplish this. Recently, my design professor introduced our class to a time management method called the "pomodoro technique" - named after the tomato shaped kitchen timer. The idea behind the method is that periodic breaks can stabilize and improve mental agility. Personally, this method is helpful to me as it allows me to focus because I know I will soon have a break. Balancing your time, staying focused and distressing are vital to ending the semester successfully!

Small, quick activities are beneficial to taking your mind off of demanding final projects. To help myself unwind, I like to paint my nails, talk to a friend (either down the phone or down the hall), or sing to my favorite songs. To help me chill out, I also like to clean. When my environment is clean, I feel like my head is clear. Organizing my surroundings helps me mentally organize my mental thoughts.

Because we all de-stress in different ways, I've complied some helpful calming methods. Above all, deep breathing is considered essential to relaxation. Breathing deeply calms the body and mind - relaxing both are equally important. The practice instantly elevates your mood as well. Simply draw air from your nose and exhale through your mouth. Practicing simple meditation, yoga or stretching relaxes your muscles aids in relaxing. Taking a quick jog or walk is helpful as well. After relaxing it is easier recollect, and recognize needed to be done and how to go about accomplishing such. If you're in need of a boost - eat a small light snack like nuts, a banana, popcorn! Fix yourself a cup of tea or coffee! Light an incense or candle to awaken your senses (this may not be acceptable if you're in a dorm room)! Likewise, listening to music is a great de-stressor. There are thousands of relaxing, classical, and mellow music playlists. Singing along to a few of your favorites tunes is an instant mood booster! If you enjoy comedic relief, watch a viral video on youtube for a laugh!

Maryville University is aware of our stresses and several events will be held on campus this week. On Monday the 7th, there will be a Serenity Relaxation Station from 10 AM until 4 PM in the DUC. The event is equipped with massage chairs, calm music, and soothing scents! Later that night in the Functional Exercise Room there will be zumba from 6:30-7:30 PM and yoga from 7:30-8:30 PM.
On Tuesday the 8th, there will be puppies on campus from 10 AM - 1 PM!! Cram Jam will be held later that night from 9 PM in the dining hall. There will be snacks available and chances to win free prizes, On the 9th, zumba and yoga will be held again at the same place and time. Furthermore, from December 4th until the 11th, there will be free food for finals located in the Hutting Chapel!

My friends, I hope this post encourages you to stay focused and calm during this tough week! Good luck to you all!

Just A Class

We’ve made it (almost). After next week, we are officially free from the chains of our first semester classes. No more of that dreadful anatomy, or biology, or math, or whatever it was that stressed you out. We can finally stop worrying about our school work (at least, until next semester hits).

When our Usem class ends, will we move on with our lives as if we never took the class? Will we forget the mindfulness bell, the books, the discussions, and videos, the songs, the experiences within a year? Probably, although I wish it weren’t this way.

I’m not sure if you all have the same sentiments as me, but when I finish a class, I drop it from my life fast. I throw my notes away, all the required readings go on the shelf never to be read again, and the knowledge immediately starts seeping out of my brain. It was just a class, another check mark on my way to graduation.

But there is something wrong with treating classes like tasks on a checklist. I don’t want college to be a quest to merely complete courses. I want college to be a quest to expand my mind. Too often, though, I forget that I go to Maryville to expand my mind. I go into my “default” frame of mind: I’ve got to get this done, then that, then I’ll go there, and finish that. Just a bunch of check marks on a list.

As this semester closes I am going to try my best to not let the things I’ve learned this semester evaporate from my mind. I am going to celebrate that my success and knowledge, not all my classes finally being over.

And going into next semester I am going to try my best to look at all my classes not as chores, but as opportunities, explorations, and challenges.

Black Thursday?

Black Friday is easily one of the most exciting days for many consumers. It is the day people are willing to lose sleep to wait in endless lines at stores. It is the day that people will get into physical brawls over merchandise. It is the day that people might even camp outside of a store just to get what they want.

But what happens when Black Friday actually starts on Thursday-- Thanksgiving!!

Many of the stores this year started their door busters at 6 P.M. on Thursday. My family and I typically do partake in the Black Friday festivities, but we don't go out until Friday morning. To me, it just does not seem right that we having people fighting in stores over things they want when it is supposed to be a day to give thanks for all the things that we have. The true meanings of Thanksgiving and Christmas are being buried by greed.

In my opinion, it seems ridiculous that people would be willing to leave their family gatherings to go shopping. In addition, think of all of the workers who are spending their Thanksgiving checking out the endless line of shoppers instead of getting to spend time with their loved one's and give thanks.

From another perspective, it's not solely the selfishness of a customer. Consumers may feel tempted by these great deals and feel the need to go out shopping so they can give their loved ones the best gift possible. The stores may be more to blame. They extend their sale period in order to make more money. In turn, customers are missing out on their Thanksgiving gatherings in order to buy the things they could normally get on Friday.

Some people may choose to shop on Thanksgiving, but I will be choosing to feast with my beautiful family and give thanks!

Grateful

When I got home last Friday, the first thing I noticed when walking in the front door was the smell of delicious food. Sure enough, my mom had a roast ready in the crock pot. I immediately got out a plate and ate and ate and ate. Quite honestly, I nearly ate the whole roast. After weeks of cafeteria food, nothing tasted so good.

I realized, however, that I did not need to thank my mom, but apologize. I used to always complain about having roast for dinner. It was never my favorite. But this instance made me realize how good I had it. The smile on my mom's face was priceless as I confessed how much I took her meals for granted.

Although this is just one example, I think moving away to college has made me realize how much I took for granted before. There was always a delicious home-cooked meal on the table each night. There was always a place to throw my dirty laundry so my mom could wash it for me. There was always a family there to support me, no matter how much they annoyed me at times.

This week has been so fulfilling to get reunited with my friends and family. I am so thankful to have all of these wonderful people in my life who have done so much for me over the years. The saying "we don't realize what we have until it is gone" is so relatable.

Today I am grateful for all the blessings in my life. One of my favorite sayings is "What if we woke up tomorrow with only the things we were grateful for today?" That one line can really make you think. Were you grateful today? What are you taking for granted today?

Money

It controls peoples lives. From they day they are born from they day they die. You are either born poor, middle class, or upper class and you have to choice on which category you get to fall in. Some of us have it great, while others struggle to make ends meet day to day. But why do we as humans prioritize money so much? In the end we all die.

When I was in junior high school and all throughout high school I thought that I just hadddd to make tons of money. One, because I thought I would love to be able to by what ever I want whenever I want. Two, I thought it would make me better than those who did not make as much as me. And sure, it would be fun to make money but does it really make me better? For some reason I was looking at money as power for he longest time until, which I do not know what cause this yet, I looked at money differently. I looked at peoples happiness and what they were doing with their money. Those who seemed to be the happiest were not millionaires but they were the ones with close relationships with their friends and family. Those who were happy took it moments, memories, and the little things that really make this life here on Earth meaningful.

Recently I have decided to stop trying to look for the best way to make a lot of money for my future. I have decided to put it in Gods hands. If I wind up making a bunch of money then so be it. But I have choosen a career path that I think I will love. I want to be a teacher(and wrestling coach). I want to impact the lives of others all around me. I am no longer chasing the so beloved evil of money. I am chasing the happiness of myself, the close relationships that money cannot muy, and I am chasing the respect of everyone around me.

So I ask others to join me. Quit wasting time trying to chase something that in the end does not mean a damn thing because we all die, and chase those moments and feelings you can share with others and impact their lives and generations of lives. Leave your own leagacy, no matter how big or small it is.

Opened Eyes

I know this is a little late, but I wanted to bring up the tunnel of consciousness and my reaction to it. This has been on my mind ever since leaving the tunnel and found it appropriate to bring up again in this blog. One of the major themes that stood out to me while walking through the tunnel was how much discrimination gays, lesbians, homosexuals, and trans genders face. I know this sounds silly, but previously to the tunnel I was oblivious to this.

               I was oblivious primarily because I myself do not, at least to my knowledge, discriminate against them. I do not understand them simply because I am not in their shoes and do not go through the situations that they do. The fact that I myself do not understand is a big enough reason to not judge them. How can I judge someone who I hardly even know, just based on their sexual preference? I think that’s what our society is missing. We label others as different simply because we do not understand them. Maybe, we should try harder to gain this understanding.

               Although I do believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, I also believe that I am not supposed to judge others, and that EVERYONE deserves happiness.

The wall with all of the suicides hung up of people who were discriminated against due to this issue really shook me. I am sensitive to suicide in general, but seeing all of these suicides that resulted from endless bullying and discrimination made me want to throw up. Society can easily prevent these from happening by loving each other despite our differences.
Being raised Lutheran, I was taught that you follow what the bible said, or you would go to hell. Although I am now non-denominational, I still have family members who believe this is true- that certain sins and bad decisions will keep you from getting into heaven. With that being said, one of my aunts recently came out as a lesbian. She was married to a man for several years and has a son who is in his 20’s now. She realized something was missing from her life and got a divorce which led to her meeting an old friend from high school to catch up on life. She explained to us (my family) that it just felt right when she was with her and that she loved her. I didn’t really understand it, but I tried to be as open and loving as possible about the situation. The rest of my family members failed to do the same.
The ridicule my aunt received from some of my family members was ridiculous. FAMILY means loving each other despite our flaws (if you even want to call this a flaw). My aunt is one of the sweetest people on this earth, and I have never seen her this happy.

               After the tunnel, I immediately thought of my aunt and was drowned in sadness because I’m sure she faces the same type of discrimination from people she doesn’t even know.  

Before the tunnel I was oblivious to all of this simply because I myself don’t pay attention to this topic as much as I really should. I was unaware of the severity of this type of discrimination simply because I didn’t participate in it.
 There are many issues in our society today where I have the “I should stay out of it and not judge them” attitude, but that inhibits me from being fully aware of all of the injustices occurring. Isn’t that what this class is all about?  Not just accepting others who are different, but recognizing the social injustices occurring and doing something productive about it?!

Human Trafficking

Paige and I are doing our insertion project over the topic of human trafficking. I remember a speaker coming to my high school and speaking of this industry, and at that time I was in complete shock because I hardly knew anything about it. As we researched information for our pamphlet, I was horrified by some of the facts.

600,000  to 800,000 women, children, and men are bought and sold across international borders every year and exploited for forced labor or commercial sex.

There are 20.9 million victims of trafficking world wide as of 2012.

A $32 billion-a-year industry, human trafficking is on the rise and is in all 50 states. (Yes, it is happening right here around us!)

Human Trafficking has surpassed the illegal sale of arms and in the next few years is estimated to surpass the illegal sale of drugs.

This is clearly a huge industry! A HUGE problem. If this is so common, why do we never hear about this? Is it that people believe it doesn't happen here? Is it because it is such a "black market" that it's not something we are aware of?

Watching videos and reading facts about human trafficking has been sickening. Yet, I believe it has opened my eyes to such an awful injustice that is not talked about enough. More people need to be educated on this so they can identify a potential situation and also help prevent it.

People think slavery was an issue of the past. This is slavery. It still exists and it is a much bigger problem than most people are aware of.

Everyone should "like" the page Let's Stop Human Trafficking on facebook and check out our pamphlet :)

Photography as a Way of Life

Sebastião Salgado, From my Land to the Planet
Contrasto, 2014

I first heard the name of Sebastião Salgado from Mev in the early 1990s.  She esteemed him more than any other living photographer, as he embodied  a secular “preferential option for the poor.”  Mev wished to  make a similar option, precisely as a photo-journalist and theology student.  The Struggle is One, her book about the liberationist church in Brazil (Salgado’s homeland),  was one expression of her commitment.

Given your interest in and commitment to photography, I wanted to share a bit with you from Salgado’s recent autobiography, From my Land to the Planet.  The book was put together by Isabelle Francq, who interviewed Salgado during a very busy period of his life.  The book necessarily goes into much greater detail than what is suggested in Mev’s interview with him from 1993, which is one of the “Seeing the World” chapters in The Book of Mev. I think you will find a lot in this book that stimulates your imagination and photographic praxis.

The Problem With Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday as long as I could remember. We would go to my grandma and grandpa’s house and see our cousins and aunts and uncles. My cousins, brother, and I would eat until we could no longer move, and lay in the upstairs hallway watching crystals in the window refract bits of light into rainbows across the walls. Giggling at nothing and playing our favorite games like “roadkill in aisle 5”. As a child I was truly thankful for that day, for all that I had. Thankful for the generosity of the “Indians” to the pilgrims. For teaching them to survive.

As time has gone on, and my history classes have delved deeper into what we now celebrate as a time of peace and thanks. I have learned the hellish history of what the colonists have done. About the trail of tears. About assimilation. About the genocide of the Native Americans. The natives saw nature as something that belonged to no one, something that they worked with to survive. The colonists saw it as something that they could take as their own. I now see it as a celebration of the murder of innocent people for the gains of others. The thankfulness for the deceit and betrayal that the natives went through.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy the gathering of my family; seeing those I love. Just getting together to eat an oversized meal and lay on the couch and complain about how full we are. But I feel like we need to disconnect it from its’ original origins. Being thankful for what happened to the Native Americans seems wrong, but just having a day for celebrating all we have, and all we appreciate is a good thing. As Americans, we need to stop glamorizing and overlooking the pain, misery, and distress we have caused others just because we have benefitted from it.

Values

What are values? The proper definition for the context in which I am referencing the word is, “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgement of what is important in life”.

So, what is important? 

School, grades, popularity, success, money, power, outward appearance…

These are just a few to be named based on what I see around me in today’s culture. 

But my question is, why? Why are these things deemed important? Who says that outward appearance outweighs what is on the inside? And why do we believe it?

Is it that we are so focused on what culture is saying that we cannot be happy with our choices and lifestyles unless everyone else approves? 

“Am I skinny enough?”

“Am I smart enough?”

“Am I pretty enough?”

“Am I successful enough?”

YOU are enough, regardless of what culture says. No matter what values are thrown your way. Shouldn't it be enough to simply stand up for what YOU value, no matter what anyone else says?

To me, that is enough. If you feel strongly enough about something to hold it at such a high standard and base your standards around it, then it is enough. So often we are taught that we have to be or act or talk or think a certain way, and that is simply not true. 

If you value something; if something in your life has meaning to you, then why not stand up for those things? You have to go after what you want, and your “wants” are influenced by your values. 

Why, then, do we as a people, not stand up for things in this world when they aren't right? Imagine if every time someone saw someone else being wronged they stood up and said this isn't right. What do you think would change? I think the whole world could change. 

Values.

They are important if they build others up. This world tears people down more than it should. 

So, let’s start focusing on the good things and hold those to a higher standard than the superficial things. Let’s build others up instead of making them question what they are doing or how they are living or in whom they believe.

Most importantly, let’s value each other.

The other day I caught myself looking at all of the Christmas decorations in the mall, thinking to myself, “I can’t wait until Christmas”. I then read an article about people’s reactions to Starbucks’ PLAIN red cups.

               If you don’t know the story about these red cups, I’ll briefly fill you in:

People (Christians) are fired up about Starbucks using blank red cups instead of the usual ones that say “Merry Christmas” on them. They exclaim that they are taking Christ out of Christmas.

               Anyway, after shopping at the mall and then reading that article, I realized that I, along with many others, are at fault for something.

               Skipping over Thanksgiving!!!

               My family has issues with one another and some live very far away, so we have always been segregated when it comes to holidays. With that being said, Thanksgiving has never really been big at my house. Sure, we have a dinner and watch a couple movies afterward, but it’s usually just my two bothers and I, and my mom and dad. Our family has inadvertently downplayed Thanksgiving.

               My parents have always taught me to be thankful for everything I have, so I guess I’ve never saw the importance of it, at least not to the degree that I should. But try to see my side, what makes Thanksgiving more important than any other day? Shouldn’t we have just as much gratitude any other day than November 26^th?

               My mom and I have always been excited about Thanksgiving because of one major thing: BLACK FRIDAY!! We would always leave our house at around 8, and sit outside the mall in our warm car until midnight. Looking back on it, I realized how messed up that is. We are completely ignoring the entire purpose of the holiday. We say our prayer, stuff our faces real quick, and then get suited up to go blow money on material things that will eventually fade.

               It wasn’t until this year, when I got invited to my boyfriend’s for Thanksgiving, where I realized that my family (along with numerous others) have been doing it all wrong. Yes, we should be thankful every day, but we should also take advantage of the day that allows our entire family (usually) to take a break and spend time with one another.

               This Thanksgiving will be different. Although I will not be with any of my family (brother is on a military base, other brother with his wife’s family, and my parents in Chicago- shopping on the magnificent mile) I will still be surrounded by great people and I will cherish that.

               It has never infuriated me that Black Friday has taken over Thanksgiving, or that Christmas decorations are put up everywhere the day after Halloween. I assume this class, and the internship I did this summer are making me more aware of all of the things going on around me.

               I hope this Thanksgiving will be a blessing for everyone, and that we as a class can all remember to cherish this holiday, and not just go on autopilot while we’re waiting for Christmas.

BROKEN GLASS

In the last two weeks

I have experienced two “accidental deaths”

One the son of close friends; the other

A student at the college.

I’ve gone 62 years never knowing personally

This kind of grief—yet here it is, both are gone.

Details unknown and I dare not speculate for long—

Drug overdose? Drowning? Gunshot wound to the head?

These two young men are in the new demographic for victims—

White, young, male, impulsive on occasion, erratic in behavior—

(Who isn’t when young, pray tell??)

And who take definitive action.

Resourceful, (and desperate) I turn to a young

Black male friend who has fingered these dark places

And has resolved to stay--maintain his life here. With us.

When I asked him what this fatal impulse is about, he

Instead gave an allegory of a dark, damp, enclosed

Space with droplets seeping from the ceiling, walls.

All about to cave in.  What about the urge to

Prevail, to motivate one’s self to find a way, even

That tiny square inch that I give homage to, believe in

With all my heart. Yes! What about that? Isn’t it there?

And if not that

What about the usefulness of cries for help to loved ones--

Family and friends, those strangers among us who will prevail if we can’t.

And what about that ancient light opening even before the

Worlds of words?  Before our contentious selves seemingly like
November stones walked towards us as if to form a team and take umbrage
At the thought of this cardinal sin?  “Uh Uh, no way
 you ain’t about to get away with that….”

My friend? He didn’t say.  He doesn’t know. Perhaps the winter fields will.

As for now, every piece of broken glass in our backyard

Talks and weeps, for the

Reason of not seeing them enough—or ever again.  

Bread and Roses - Mixed Feelings

On Friday we finished up the film Bread and Roses. The film left me with mixed feelings.

Maya, the main character, is young, lively, loving, defiant, and mischievous. It seems that in her blood is the tendency to trick others – taking the man’s keys while he’s in the shower, pressing all the buttons on the elevator, carting Sam around in the trash can, locking the clerk in the bathroom. She uses manipulation to fight back against injustice.

In general, I think that Maya’s clever tricks were good and well deserved. But the one I have problem with is the robbing of the gas station. She used her manipulative abilities to commit crime. Maya is a robber – there’s simply no way around it.

However, Maya robbed the gas station not for her own benefit, but for Ruben’s, which lessens the degree to which Maya can be criticized. To respond to the injustice of Ruben being fired, Maya committed and injustice – stealing somebodies money. Does that make it right? I can’t see Maya as a blameless hero; her intentions may have always been just, but not her actions.

Maya, like everyone, is imperfect. Her mental strength and will-power were instrumental in the janitors’ fight for better working conditions. She loves her family and friends. She was willing to give up her job so that others could keep theirs. In many ways, Maya is a good person, but she is not a perfect person.

Now I want to discuss the concept of the movie. Maya enters the country illegally, gets a job, and then demands higher wages and benefits. Looking at this objectively, I see a problem. Imagine if somebody just walked into your dorm or apartment or house and started demanding things from you. Why is it ok at a national level?

I acknowledge that the metaphor I just gave oversimplifies the situation. Many people who come into the country from Latin America are escaping terrible living conditions. Coming to the US may be the only hope. Are we supposed to send them back, lock them out, and look the other way while they starve? That’s inhumane.

The whole issue of illegal immigration vexes me – it’s not right to neglect immigration laws, to neglect the border – it’s also not right to treat human beings like trash. Do I celebrate Maya and her friends improving their lives? Yes. Do I think that there is something wrong with entering the country illegally? Yes. I’m not sure where I go from here…

Tough Love

A few weeks ago I was invited to go see a movie. I was expecting buttery popcorn and a subpar film that would put me to sleep. (That’s usually what happens when I go to the movies). However, I was surprised at how interested I would be in this film.

               “Woodlawn”, the movie that we saw, is about heavy racism in Alabama. So here is just a short summary of the film (sorry if you’re planning on seeing it I’ll try not to say too much): It’s the story of a football team, made up primarily of white players, who has to overcome adversity and more importantly, the barrier between their races. Woodlawn (name of the high school) has a very gifted player who sadly does not get to utilize his gift at first due to the fact that he is black. Racism is obviously not only an issue on this football team; it saturated throughout their school, community, and state. The coaching staff understands that there needs to be a desperate change, and thankfully, an outsider does too.

               A stranger walks into Woodlawn one day and actually ends up converting practically the whole team. During this scene, these young men devote themselves to Christ and to doing their best to look at others as actual human beings instead of a certain color.

               Although the team is trying their best to spark a change, it does not happen overnight, nor does it come easy. Slowly, but surely, however, outsiders start to notice this change within the team, and wonder how on earth this even came about.

               The movie itself is a Christian movie, and is VERY inspirational. I strongly recommend seeing it considering everything that is happening in our world today.

               There was a certain line in the movie that really stood out to me.

               “If you only love those who love you back, what kind of love is that?”

This quote lingered in my mind the rest of the movie, and has definitely been on the back burner of my mind sense then. So I thought, why not bring this bad boy to the front burner!!

               I think….I know we all struggle with this. It’s easy to love people who are nice, kind, considerate, and thoughtful. It’s easy to love our family (sometimes), friends, and teammates (again…sometimes). But what about those who maybe, don’t have the same views as us? Or better yet, those who maybe, don’t even like us?

               I know I definitely struggle with this and I was majorly convicted of this when I got back from Haiti. It was so easy to love those kids over there. They had nothing, but were still so sweet, innocent, and loving. Even if they were little punks, you wouldn’t even care because they just made your heart so full.

               When I got home, I found myself coming very close to strangling a little nugget who I watch for a family friend. (Not really, but I was definitely about to lose my temper).

               I caught myself and asked, why was it so easy to love those Haitian children, but so hard for me to love you right now? I should be giving the same love to you that I gave to them, despite your actions or my feelings.

That’s what we’re called to do, right?

I’ve noticed it since I moved up here as well. It’s hard for me to love the lady taking forever in the checkout line. It’s hard for me to love the man who almost rear ended me this morning. It’s EXTREMLEY hard for me to love some of the people at Mizzou right now.

Better yet, it’s hard, almost impossible, for blacks to love the white man who posted that he was going to kill black people.

But yet I think it’s our job to. That kind of unconditional love has graciously been given to us, so it is our job to give it back to others. No matter how hard it is.

               I’m no saint; I continuously struggle with this. However, I’m asking you guys to join me in this. This weekend and following week, I challenge you (trust me it will be a challenge) to love someone who is very hard to love.

I was journaling the other day about this topic and the following came to my mind:

We all have the desire to be loved and an obligation to love others.

We're all the same. We all want to be loved, some of us just have different mechanisms of trying to achieve it.

We're all the same

Sonia Klein

Holocaust survivor Sonia Klein visited Maryville University on Tuesday, November 10th. 

Some of our classmates were able to listen to the talk, and those who missed out were able to listen to our reactions. Although we had discussed her visit in What Do You Stand For?, I believe Sonia had a powerful story and message that should be documented. 

When Sonia was young she had dreams of becoming a teacher - that never happened because the war broke out when she was only 14 years old. Soon after, she and her family were forced into the Warsaw ghetto in Poland. Almost 400,000 people were shoved in an area where only 50,000 lived previously. She witnessed people dying every day, risked her life just to buy food at the grocery store, and lived in constant fear. In 1943, when Sonia was 17, she and her family were taken from their home to a concentration camp. Upon separation, her mother refused to let go of her young son's hand - it was the last time Sonia would see them.

At the camp, prisoners were no longer considered to be human beings. Sonia's head was shaved immediately after her arrival at Auschwitz. Her name was now a number. For two years Sonia was starved every single day. For two years she worked alongside her sister separating shoes every single day. For two years she attended roll call every single day. From February of 1945 to late March, over 1,000 women were forced into a death march. When the women were liberated by American troops, the shoes Sonia was wearing had to be cut from her feet. 

She survived the Warsaw ghetto, four concentration camps, and a death march. Now, at 90 years old she travels to speak about her experiences and talks to New York students on a weekly basis. She is compelled to speak about her past because her generation is aging. In a few years, all the survivors and liberators of the Holocaust will pass. She believes it is important to carry on their story. At the start of her speech, Sonia said "I'm reliving it, but it's a must for everyone to know what happened." While Sonia could simply write a memoir about her past, she likes speaking and connecting with other individuals in person. 

Sonia Klein mentioned something that really stuck with me:

"Do I read into hate? Yes. Do I hate? No. Do I forgive... How can I? I should forgive if I want forgiveness but my whole life was taken away."

This horrific event occurred only 70 years ago. 12 million people were murdered - 6 million of whom were Jewish. These innocent people lost their lives simply because of their religion, race, and sexuality. Many of those who were unaffected turned a blind eye - claiming they didn't know what was happening. It is so imperative that we do not forget the story of Sonia and the millions of Holocaust victims. We have to remember and educate about the events of past so that they do not occur in the future. I believe Sonia's story holds an even larger message: Be aware and spread awareness. If we do not discuss and educate about the issues going on in our world today there will never be a resolution to these problems. There are countless injustices that occur every day in our world. Even in the year of 2015 children are being sold in sex trafficking, families are living in poverty, some people of our time don't even have access to clean water. As individuals of this generation it is our responsibility to share our knowledge and spread awareness of the challenges we are facing. To overcome this injustices, we have to work together, sharing and educating for the past, present, and future. 

Daraja

Daraja is the Swahili translation for bridge. To most of you, that means nothing. But i will tell you why, to me, it means so much.

The Daraja Children's Choir of Africa is a group made up from Ugandan and Kenyan children whose ages range from about 8 years of age to 12 (ish) years of age. They travel the United States on a seven month tour and perform at churches all across the country. Wow, right? These young children leave their homes, their families, their communities, to come to an entirely different country.

Why? Because through this organization, they are able to receive leadership training and gain amazing experiences that they can take back with them and become little world-changers in their communities.

As they travel, they stay in the homes of families that attend the churches at which they perform, and my family has had the privilege of hosting the past two of the three years that they have come to Oak Bridge. With this experience of getting to know them personally for a few days, although they are here to be taught, they do the real teaching. At least, in my opinion.

They are FILLED with joy. They are thankful for everything and their thankfulness is reflected in everything they do. And I mean everything.

Getting to know them personally, I learned this past weekend from Rickin and Catherine both want to be nurses when they grow up. In America, that's a common and attainable dream. However for those two Ugandan girls, it would be a lot harder to attain. We have all kinds of opportunity here, but over there at their schools, there can be up to SIX students sharing a textbook. Not even to mention their teacher to student ratio. (Way too many students and not nearly enough teachers!!)

That's where Daraja and the 410 Bridge come in. The 410 Bridge is a sponsorship program, among other great things, but they created Daraja to be the "bridge" between East Africa and America.

When the precious Daraja children are here, they have the opportunity to be sponsored along with hundreds of other children in other places, including Haiti, through the 410 Bridge.

Daraja is the reason behind my desire to go to Africa one day, and I also want to be apart of the Daraja internship program and travel with the choir.

We talk about injustices in this class, but we have to do more than just talk about them. If we really want to make a difference, we have to do something about it. I believe that Daraja and the 410 Bridge are really making a difference in the lives of people world-wide. They provide opportunity and resources for those who otherwise wouldn't have many of either of those things.

Trying to Open Closed Minds

Does anyone ever feel like it’s near impossible to stand up for what you believe in if the people you are standing up against are family members? I have found in my life that my views differ incredibly from those of my family and those that my family are close too. I hear comments, see posts, and feel the general vibe that they all put out and it makes me very uncomfortable. To hear people I love saying that minimum wage workers don’t deserve health care, or that all “illegal aliens” should be deported. To hear that it is a “good thing those thugs are off the street now that they’re dead”. Knowing that the people that I love don’t believe that others should have the right to live comfortably, and deserve the poverty that they are trapped in. Hearing them say the n-word without flinching or stopping to consider the evil history of it. I feel like when I do try to stand up for what I believe to be basic human rights, they will all pounce on the opportunity to tell me I’m too liberal, and that I need be a bit more conservative. They tell me that “this is not how we raised you”.

“Elise, people who make their money deserve to keep it, and those lazy poor people just need to work hard and they’ll easily get out of poverty”.

“You know, if they just put down the crack pipe and stop complaining about ‘racism’, they might actually be successful”.

“Homelessness is a choice, Elise. If they really wanted to have money they would go out and make it instead of leeching off hard-working people like us”.

“The police aren’t racist.. You realize that, right? Black people are just more violent than other races.”

I struggle to keep my relationships with them strong, but I feel myself faltering sometimes when I realize how hateful and closed minded their opinions are. I feel like I’m screaming for them, but their heads are so full of sand that they don’t hear a damn thing. I'm so tired of trying to open closed minds.

Sucess At Last

In a previous post I talked about how I like to, unlike the average college kid, go back home to good ole De Soto on the weekends. I talked about how my favorite thing to do was go hunting but I was running short on time because of the wrestling season that was fast approaching.

So anyways, this past weekend I decided to try one last time before my first wrestling tournament. I went to my Dads on saturday night and planned to hunt on Sunday morning. So we did the usualy routine, such as waking up early and drinking cofee together before we had to start getting ready, but this time we decide to go to a different spot to hunt. We came to the conclusion that we would hunt together in a two man stand... yada yada yada. I dont need to explain every detail. Long story short, I got my first kill with a bow. I had shot and killed an eight pointer with my Dad right next to my side!

There are two morals of this story.

Sucess. It what motivates people. I was so motivated to get one deer I would drive an hour away on weekends just to try. But what did it take to be sucessful? Time and effort. If I look back, I tell myself I deserved to get that deer because of the time I put into trying. I know that it was just a deer but it was way more than that to me. It was sucess. I just want to say, if you are feeling unmotivated and unsuccessful just to never give up. I was starting to lose hope, but eventually sucess will find its way to you. Be positive.

Another moral of this story is to never take a moment for granted. In that moment when I killed my deer I was so happy, but not as happy as my Dad. He was smiling from ear to ear, and shaking out of his boots with joy. When we got back to the house my dad had said something that made my dad 100 times better. He said that he wouldnt trade that moment we had today for a million dollars and that it was moments like that that he looked forward to in life. When he said it, it hit me hard. One of the best feelings to me is when your parents are so proud of you. But he was right. Dont take any moment for granted, and enjoy them all.

Unplug

I believe that I live in a disconnected world despite the claim that technology connects us.

Since the introduction of mobile phones, people have become increasingly attached to their mobile devices. 90% of American adults own a cell phone - 60% of those cell phones are smartphones. A study conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that 84% of cell phone users claim they could not go a single day without their mobile device… I cannot be the only one who views this as an issue. It does not matter where I am - I see people invested into electronic devices and social media. Adults talking on the phone, teenagers tapping away on social media, toddlers on iPads. As a culture, we are submerged in a 2D world - where a screen replaces interaction with the world surrounding us. Insteading of living in the moment, we are distracted by the screens that lie in our hands. The constant use of electronics and social media has caused our attention to become brief and distracted - we jump from one platform to other checking on what our friends or “frenemies” are doing. Social media and our cellular devices have the potential to connect us, but we should avoid confusion ---- these outlets do not make us social. Instead of interacting with individuals standing next to us in line or sitting next to us on the bus, we focus on our cell phones - distracting ourselves by reading useless tweets and double-tapping instagram pictures. On the internet, we speak but are rarely listened to. We post for likes - seeking validation from the numbers. Social media has disconnected us from reality - we believe in artificial ideas and images because they infiltrate all of our media sources. Our culture is celebrity-obsessed. Not only do celebrities appear on television, magazines, news websites, but we follow them on social media. We watch documentaries about their lives, listen to them on talk-shows, follow their snapchat stories and instagram accounts, read about their diets and workout regimens. As a culture, we idolize individuals because they have beautiful bodies, wealth, and success. We gossip and talk about celebrities, or people we follow on social media as if we know them. The reality is that media only shows us a small percentage of what is real. We do not know the dreams, fears, ideas, thoughts of these individuals by what is posted about them online. On the same token, Bloggers, “instagram-celebrities”, and youtubers alike are paid to advertise products on their social media platforms. They are instructed what to say, how to pose, and even when to post. At what cost? Followers are tricked into believing in a “picture perfect” lifestyle - when in reality, pictures are contrived for the purpose of financial benefit or self-promotion.

I know many of those who are reading may not utilize media in the ways I have described. I am confident you know someone who does, or in the least have witnessed the effects of our technology-consumed world. Perhaps by reading this post, I will have encouraged you to consider your habits and the habits of those who surround you. By continuing down the spiral of this media-craze, we will only become more self-concerned and less connected with each other in the future.

My friends, change begins with a single action.

The solution is truly simple: detach from your electronic devices! Become comfortable with not using or having your cell phone. Avoid using your phone for distraction. Be mindful of what you spend your time doing and ask if such actions are productive. These devices are meant to be tools, but don’t prioritize their use over real life. We can connect with others online, but be mindful of which interacts are true. There are plenty of methods and ways to decrease your phone and social media usage. Dedicate the time you are spending away from media to something you truly enjoy! Whether that might be writing, hiking, playing a sport, reading, drawing, listening to music, hanging out with friends, or cooking a meal. ENJOY LIFE FOR WHAT IT IS!

"Where's God in this?"

Hello friends--

I know this post is long, but please please stick it out until the end! I just had a lot to say and couldn't do it without making it a little longer.

So, as some of you may remember, in class this past Wednesday as we discussed The Book of Mev, the chapters about God and prayer seemed to dominate the conversation. Toward the end of class, Mark began talking about one of the chapters and why the woman seemed confused about her religion. He then went on to talk about when things in life get a little bit rough, where is God?

Sometimes in life we face hardships. We face loss of loved ones, health situations, and other things along those lines. Some of it may be trivial, and some of it not so much. And sometimes, really terrible things happen to really good people. In situations like that, Christian or not, I think it's very easy to blame God. In hard situations we get angry and ask him, "Why this person," or "Why now," or, you fill in the blank.

This may not apply to some of you; I don't know everyone's personal beliefs, but I hope it speaks to at least someone.

So, what happens when things don't go our way? Is God to blame? Is He with us, as it teaches us in scripture? Or, in other words, "Where's God in this?"

The answer that I have found it yes; He is with us in all things. Every time we feel pain, He is with us. And He has experienced it, too. To prove this, I bring up Jesus, who was God in the flesh. Jesus came to earth as a man to save the world from sin. He was to be crucified, and while on the cross after being beaten and mocked, He cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46). 

Now to me, this seems strange. Jesus, who was God in the flesh, who lived a perfect, sinless life and was crucified as though he was a sinner and a criminal would ask where God was in his pain and suffering. 

I think all too often when christians question God and ask “why?” they also begin to doubt their own faith and think that maybe they are wrong. I mean, we’re supposed to trust God in all things, right? That’s what we’re taught, isn't it? But I think it’s overlooked that by questioning and doubting and crying out it shows that you still have hope in His promises. In John 16:33, Jesus says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

See, Jesus promises us that we will face trials. So when we ask questions and say “Father, why have you forsaken me,” it isn't a question that shows a lack of faith, it’s a way of asking God to draw near to you. Lack of faith would be giving up. It proves that you have no hope if you no longer ask questions; if you just walk away. Losing hope doesn't cause you to cry out to God and ask him where he is in your time of need. Picture a relationship. In marriage counseling, they teach you that it is a good thing to argue, because it shows that the marriage really is over when neither party has anything to say and they just say “I’m done” and give up and don't want answers. The same thing holds true in a relationship with Jesus. If you are seeking out, even in times of trouble, answers and reasons, it shows that you haven't yet given up.

Colossians 1:17 says, “He is before all things and in Him all things hold together." So, when things feel like they are falling apart, it is our job to remember that God is in control and it is His job to take care of the rest. We can't always see the bigger picture, but He has a plan for us. John 13:7 says, “Jesus replied, ‘You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.’”

So yeah, sometimes really terrible things happen, and oftentimes those really terrible things happen to really good people. But God is with us and He is for us. And when we do cry out as Jesus did in anguish and ask God, “where are you,” we need to remember that He has a plan. Romans 8:18 says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” 

Asking questions is not a bad thing. Looking to God to see where he is, is not unhealthy. It shows that you have hope in Him, and just because you don’t understand your present suffering, you can take heart in the fact that He loves you unconditionally and that He will take care of you. I hope that this brings a new light to anyone going through a situation in which they are feeling this way. Thanks for reading!

Paige

The "N" Word

Sometimes people will ask me why it bothers me so much when white people use the “N” word. To be quite honest, I could go on for hours about the subject of why my fellow crackers rub me the wrong way when they chose to do so, but I will try to condense my arguments and feelings down into a short explanation.

Before I begin, my biggest question is why? Why do white people want to say that word so badly? Where is this desire stemming from? Is it to fit in or be cool? Is it because they are ignorant to the evil history of the word itself? Is it coming from their ingrained hatred of black people? Why?

The word originated to label black people, coming from the latin term “niger”, meaning black, which evolved into the noun “negro” meaning black person in english, also meaning black in spanish and portuguese. At first, it was simply a noun, and was without connotations. But as American history progressed and the hatred of black people became more ingrained in our rising society, the word became more of an insult and became demeaning. For hundreds of years, black slaves were raped, tortured, beaten, abused, exploited, and murdered all while being called that name. Even when slavery was abolished, the word was continuously used by the white supremacist society to oppress African Americans and keep them in their place; below white citizens.

In this day and age, the word is still used frequently by not only white people, but by black people as well. Because black people have reclaimed the word for themselves, a large majority of the white population has taken this as an invitation to use it as well. This is not what should be happening. White Americans just can’t seem to grasp the idea that it’s not “just a word”, it has dangerous history attached to it. As a white person, I am in no position to tell black people what they can and cannot say, but I will say that white people should never even have the inclination to say the word at all. You shouldn’t say “what’s up my n****?” to your friends, especially your black friends, because no, they are not “your n****”. Haven’t people of African descent in America been referred to as “my n****” too often by white people in the past 400 years? Haven’t the actions of your pasty white forefathers soiled that word for you? Just keep this in mind next time you feel the urge to use it, even if you are just trying to sing along to a rap song. Don’t use a word that can never be yours again.

Tunnel of Consciousness

One of the topics of our notebooks was to reflect on the Tunnel of Consciousness and say how one can take action to change these injustices. I just wanted to share what I had written as a simple way to begin to combat these problems around us.
1. Be aware.
I think all too often we walk around in our own little world. We are preoccupied with our own thoughts and feelings to really see and understand our surroundings.It may even be that we're too bust looking down at our cell phones or iPads to see the social injustices that take place right here on campus. No change will be made if we first aren't aware of the problem.
2. Seeing things from others point of view
In order to deal with social injustices we must see things from others point of view. We may not agree with their way or we may not want that for ourselves, but we must try to understand others. For example, one of the exhibits was all about religious oppression. You may not believe the same thing as another individual, but that doesn't give you the right to harm them. In addition, it may be hard for you to understand an individual who changes gender. Instead of instantly judging or rejecting them, take a second to see if from their point of view. They can't help that they feel this way.
3. Be Accepting
I'm sure we have all know of a time we have seen someone be rejected or have been rejected ourselves. Especially with bullying, it can be hard to be a bystander and take action. We may be scared that we will get made fun of or we may be scared of the bullying attacking us too, verbally or physically. However, being a passive bystander will never result in change. We must stand up to those doing wrong and take action. Also, befriend the rejected. Get to know those who may be "different." Be accepting.

The Holidays

     I woke up this morning and for some reason I had the upcoming holidays on my mind; Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years day. Oh and I guess for some Black friday ;). Today I just feel like writing about my favorite parts of the holidays to me.
     First, Ill start off with Thanksgiving. For my family we keep this holiday relativly small and simple. The day typically consist of my parents, siblings and I, and our grandparents. My mother wakes up at about three thirty in the morning just to start cooking all of the delicious foods for the day. Turkey, sweet patotoes, stuffing, pumkin pie... ahhh i can just imagine all the glorious smells. When it is time for lunch we all gather around the kitchen and have a prayer before we eat. Most importantly, before we are all allowed to dig in, we must go around the room and say at least one thing that we are thankful for. We will always keep this tradition because it allows us to know the true meaning of why we come together that day.
     Next, my all time favorite holiday, Christmas. Christmas for my family is a blast, but we also make sure we know and elebrate the true meaning of it, which is the birth of Jesus Christ. For Christmas, my whole family comes over. Aunts, uncles, cousins... everyone. It is a riot! We all get one gift from someone else, e.g. i give my cousin a gift while I recieve one gift from my Uncle and so on and so forth. Laughter fills the air no stop. As it get closer to evening and people start to head back home, we bust out the board games. Those who have stayed usually all participate. We play these games usually close to midnight. We laugh, joke, eat, and simply enjoy each others presence all night until it is finnaly time to call it quits. I love these moments.
     Finally, New Years. With finger foods surrounding the party(usually thrown at my house), I dig in. We laugh and have fun. We watch tv and play games with he family. We stay up to midnight and start the year off right by being happy. We make new years resouloutions and hope to stick to them. It always seems at New Years I look back on how fast the year has went by and it always seems to happen in the blink of an eye. I look foward to these coming holidays.

Flowers Bloomed

this

morning

before

sunrise

flowers

bloomed

purple

and red

yellow

and blue

blossoms

of inspiration

rooted

in truth

               As many of you have heard, last week our campus lost someone very, very special. Isaiah Saucillo was “the needle that threaded our campus together”. He participated in PAWPRINT, the rugby team, the cheerleading team, and worked on campus. I didn’t know Isaiah too well. I mean, he was my partner (we were both on the cheer team) at camp this summer and for the beginning of the school year, and I always saw him. Every. Single. Day. I would see him at practice, around campus (usually saying hi to strangers, or holding a door open for someone), or I would see him on the rugby field playing his heart out.

At camp this summer, Isaiah was my partner. I have been cheering my whole life basically, and this was his very first day of cheerleading. EVER. The camp was 8 hours and he dropped me a lot. He kept getting so discouraged, feeling like he was constantly letting me down. Don’t get me wrong, I was frustrated. I just wanted to do cool things and instead I was struggling doing intermediate skills (how selfish of me). But what kept me going was his “keep going” attitude. He didn’t want to stop until he achieved the skill we were trying to achieve. At the end of the camp we finally did, and the smile on his face was priceless.

Isaiah came up to me after that camp and said, “Kristi, I know I let you down today, but I’m going to push to get better. I’ll be better next time.” From that moment on I realized Isaiah was not only a hard worker. He was special.

A few weeks into the semester, I got switched to a different partner. After this, I hardly spoke to Isaiah anymore. He was progressing each practice though. Along with progressing, he was starting to recognize his role on the team (something very imperative for a team to succeed). His role was to make others laugh even when they didn’t want to. He was great at it. Anytime I would start to get frustrated, I would look over at him and see him dancing, or wearing a towel on his head (don’t ask why he did it, I guess he had a towel fetish).

Although it sounds like I knew Isaiah pretty well, I truly didn’t. I didn’t know Isaiah at all.

Isaiah was only 19 (same age as most of us) when he decided to take his own life. I’m not saying I could have stopped him. But what I am saying, is that I COULD have gotten to know him. I could have possibly gotten close to him. I could have made an impact on him.

My challenge to you all is to get to know people. And I mean truly get to know them. Ask others how they’re REALLY doing. You never know when someone will be taken from this world, and  I promise you that you don't want to spend the rest of you life thinking  "I could have".

Care about others deeply. Live your life in such a way that shows others how special they are.

That’s how Isaiah lived.