Same As It Ever Was

Sarah Blackhorn was one I never met, but I heard about her at bubble bath time.  He would lean back in the tub and tell me tales from his youth, their summer camp experiences.  She had long blond curls. He would look at me after being lost in a reverie of this sort and say, "You had those blond curls then, didn't you?"  Suddenly I had morphed into the Sarah Blackhorn of those humid, childhood July days.  When I looked into his eyes they sought reassurance of my identity, my identity as Sarah.  The same happened to a lesser degree with Beauty in, "Beauty and the Beast."  And with the ceratops dinosaur in the CD he liked to listen to, "Far, Far Away." Everywhere we went in his inner world it was glorious, it was shining and golden similar to the childhood I had had-- and could reclaim through his reveries. The Zyprexa he took tamped down his desires, the excessive ones, but not the ramblings I was privy to.  As the Zyprexa entered his system his posture would change, he would bend at the knees and lean forward, making his balance precarious. He is now receiving physical therapy for this side effect in balance.  Then as now he would put his face inches from mine and sing a Disney princess song, or high school musical, he had all of them memorized.  I was fresh meat, his mother candidly said, and I could agree, as he belted the lyrics out inches from my face.  The swing out back was another one of his spots.  He pumped his legs, went high then low and back again.  Sometimes his hands would blister from clutching the chains but more often now his palms just calloused up all the more. His face was tanned from hours and hours of swinging in the sun and the wind.  Never in the rain but any other weather condition and you could find him there.

He is 29 now.  He almost died 5 years ago or so.  An abusive staff hitting on him when no one knew and he did not tell.  His appetite became depressed, his capacity to engage and express.  He became explosive and tried to dive out of a moving car.  At the psych hospital they gave  him a boatload of meds to halt his destructive behavior. It halted--everything. He next was crawling on the floor, had regressed to a person he had never been.  It took years of the right staff with good food, encouragement and a loving family to bring him back. The right meds, not too many but the right ones properly prescribed. The father had shouted, "My son is not to be a science experiment!" It was a dark time, as he became skinnier and skinnier, with some frantic, flicking movements and restlessness that has now all but disappeared.

Days, months, years passed.  I thought about him often but was afraid to call. Frankly, I was afraid he was dead.  Finally, I called, around Easter, the beginning of spring.  His mother answered, said he was fine, had fully recovered. He was now supported by Judevine and all was truly going well.  She invited me to his home.

When I came in the front door, he was asking staff for dinner seconds. His appetite had clearly returned.  Then he turned and, recognizing me, said, "Sarah!  Where have you been? " and before I could answer, he was belting out Disney songs inches from my face. Same as it ever was.            

Stabat Mater Dolorosa

It all started over a decade ago.  I didn't understand what mental illness is.  How it dips and dives and screeches back into hiding under the guise of normality.  I learned about it first and foremost through one woman. She was large-boned, had an impressive voice that reverberated in the house's walls.  Don't get me wrong, there were harmonious scenes of domesticity.  One day she would ask for pancakes, another for an omelette.  Support staff would wheel her up to the breakfast table. Yet nothing would stay steady for long.  With no warning she'd fall into a funk and yell insults at her housemates.  The room would clear. Some nights she'd call your name in her insomnia hallucinations.  She had other illnesses which complicated her health: diabetes 2, arthritis, congestive heart failure.  But  nothing as random nor as vindictive as these mood swings, sometimes spilling over into "psychotic episodes." Once, an experienced staff said the night had gone something like out of the movie "The Exorcist," various husky voices and head spinning?  I didn't ask. So into the psych hospital she'd go.  And out again, with yet another regime of medications to settle things.  What is it about this beast of mental illness, coming at her like a bull might a young 11 year old girl in a country field, without warning, on a gorgeous May Spring day? And then there is the underbelly of this beast.  It was said among staff who knew her from long ago,  that her mother, still a devout Catholic, drank heavily in her youth.  And when she was pregnant she drank.  So was her mother's indulgences the source of her compromised state?  Or was that mere rumor.  I don't know.  Yet, when I knew her she had periods of enjoying manicures, meals in restaurants, joking with another young woman who bantered with her about desire and handsome men. She flattered me when she genuinely raved about my salads. But I'll never forget the first time of many times she relapsed, that her meds dropped suddenly below the horizon and she was left with this beast.  I cried at her bedside as the hours passed and the hospital took her off her meds, only to rebuild her during the following days.  I had yet to understand how a phoenix could rise from the ashes, repeatedly, as she inevitably did.  One precious moment stands out in my mind, however.  We were in her van, going somewhere, and she was singing along to a popular tune.  For the moment her singing voice conveyed she knew exactly what the song meant, what the world still mute could not know or say about her. It was airy, it was pure; she had entirely risen above her body's plight.  Ironic, then or blessed as some would say, that she died quietly in her sleep one night, with nothing foreboding predicting her departure.            

On an Airplane Headed to Nashville by Kathryn Grundy

Dr. Chmiel
I am wordless. I finally finished your book. In one sitting, on an airplane headed to Nashville. I can’t believe I didn’t read it sooner. I wish I was more like Tanya, but I don’t always know how to be. Clinging to academics is my safety net, even when I thought I was leaving it behind, I find myself in law school forgetting why I chose a different path and once again allowing myself to pursue the comfort and madness of perfect grades and honors, which mindlessly gauge “where I should be”…whatever that means. I don’t mean to talk about myself; I’m just so sorry I didn’t read this sooner, and at the same time I’m so happy to have found it tonight. It was so beautiful. And it made me feel, and feel alive, like I haven’t in felt in a long time. I feel disponibilidade. This is some of the best writing, the best poetry. The depth and soul of your writing soars in this form… I mean this is seriously page-turning and profound. I know I will read it many more times. I just want to say thank you so much for bringing this into the world. You’ve given me a lot to think about.

–Text from Kathryn Grundy, law student at Vanderbilt

Kathryn was a student of mine at SLU in 2010.

1/31/16 from a writing of 1/18/16 in response to TNH/Christ and Buddhism

Always I have been struck, like whacked in the forehead, hard, by the gospel of Thomas.  It is so direct, so simply confounding enigmatic, full of lines of beauty and no-nonsense.  We are called on to be  WHO WE ARE.  We become not be listening to the words spoken from a pulpit, not by listening to someone else's interpretations, but by coming to be in ourselves.

But it does NOT sound sweet - it sounds daunting: 'when he seeks, he finds, and when he finds he shall be amazed and will come to transcend all things.'

I have been curious as to what it would be like to know 'my original face'.  It would be both troubling and amazing and I can only imagine that it could be found through meditation, stillness and being present.  And it would lead to transcendence - because I believe from my small experience in finding myself, I could find others also.  I would see how we are all one, all creation being one from the stars to the smallest amoeba, composed of the same elements.  Now I only know that with my head -  if I knew my 'original face' I would know it conclusively and with my whole being.

If you skip the synoptic gospels and go to the gnostic gospels, the feel is entirely different.  And who picked one over the other and why?  The gnostic gospels seem more related to Buddhism (to my understanding of Buddhism at any rate) the ideas found in both concerning knowing yourself and finding yourself within.  The kingdom of heaven is within you, not in the myriad rules and regulations of Catholicism or Judism.  Christ came to do away with the old law and instead 'they' took his 'unlaws' and made mountains of books upon books of new laws which have nothing to do with what I see as true Christianity which is compassion and care for others.  How did we get from the Sermon on the Mount to the Inquisition, to the Roman Curia?

My atheist friend would say - greed and power.  The fine hairs split finer and finer, a ritual performed in a language no one understood, the matter of mortal sin and hell.  I understand that Gurdjieff said that with our level of consciousness, we aren't even candidates for hell!We are not that conscious enough for that capacity of evil.

But then, (ah ha!!) might I make the wrong decision?  throw the baby out with the bathwater?  But I don't believe so.  My education leaves me too guilt-ridden for that to occur!

Affirmation

My affirmation will be over a student that I have known since I was young but now have gotten closer to this semester. Alex Waggoner and me used to wrestle on the same team back in middle school. My dad coached him for a few matches and he showed promise as a good wrestler. Now after watching him through high school and his college matches I finally see how hard of a worker Alex is. I see him come home do all his homework non stop until it's all done. He is a nose to the grindstone kind of guy and I am inspired by his work ethic. He is a very home oriented person, he definitely loves his family and loves to be back in Desoto. This makes me want to be closer to my family because seeing that I'm not the only one who misses home. I Alex came to Maryville with two intentions, wrestle the best he can and get an education. He is a no nonsense guy and that is a hard quality to find these days, he will do whatever it takes to get the job done and I am happy to know a guy like Alex.

Giving Back

After experiencing the USEM I chose at the beginning of the semester I have learned and realized that I need to contribute to society. Back at my Highschool I always thought get through school get a job and get your life going. But now I realize that to be a true member of society, I need to help a fellow person. I need to experience charity and love and help other experience the same. I listened to Kristi talk about her trips to Haiti and her donations that she gives an it made me realize I need to do the same I need to help someone. Because that's part of life and the world will be such a better place if we all helped each other out.

Spring 2016

It's hard to believe that the Spring 2016 semester starts on this Tuesday the 19th. I can't believe that winter break is almost over. It always amazes me how fast time seems to fly by during break. It really doesn't feel like I was on break for almost 5 weeks. It seems like it was only a week or so ago when I came home from school after my last day of finals. I was looking forward to a little more than a month off from school. Now I'm trying to get everything packed and ready for school next week.

       It seems to me that time flies by during school as well. Last semester went by really fast for me. It really doesn't seem like I was in school for the better part of 4 months, but I was. I was busy last semester, so I would say that's why it went by so fast. I'm sure the spring semester will fly by as well.
I've heard that time goes by faster and faster the older you get, and I’ve witnessed this happening the last several years. I remember being in eighth grade and thinking about going into high school. I thought about what my high school graduation wold be like, and it all seemed so far away. Now I'm thinking about this as a freshman in college, wondering where the time went.

      I also remember my junior and senior  year of high school quite vividly. I was stressed about the ACT and college applications during my junior year, and my senior year I took some challenging college classes. I’m only a freshmen in college, so it might seem strange for me to talk about my junior and senior year of high school feeling like it wasn't that long ago, because it really wasn’t, but it does seem like it all went by so fast.

Effects[edit]

Nations customarily measure the 'costs of war' in dollars, lost production, or the soldiers killed or wounded. Rarely do military establishments attempt to measure the costs of war in terms of individual human suffering. Psychiatric breakdown remains one of the most costly items of war when expressed in human terms.

— No More Heroes, Richard Gabriel^{[29] Wikipedia}

So there it was, March 20, 2003,  President Bush declared war on Iraq.

Everyone seemed jubilant.  Not me.

Like the newly blinded in my once familiar home
I fingered the wallpaper ripped by cat scratching
the swollen door from recent rains now ill-fit for the door jamb.
The pitch of the roof askew as if by recent earth shifts imagined but real and irreversible.

I walked down the short path to the car port.
I walked back.  I felt sick to my stomach because I knew young people would die.
I picked up the phone and cancelled an important job interview
with a bewildered interviewer.
He clearly didn't get it.

So then it started.  Thank you for your service.
Thank you for

I couldn't say it then, I can't now. So I threw up.

There was the student who disappeared
during the Gulf War.  He said he always knew he was a warrior.
There was the young mother at the CSUSB Victorville campus
her husband overseas, she writing sterling essays about
I can't recall.  I fantasized about moving in with her until
if he returned.

Later it got worse.  Or better. Many military returned
cashing in their educational benefits.  Invisible scars
still there, they told of exotic places, funny now-not-then tales.
There was the sweet one with the TBI and the fleshy white scar on his brow;
the young mother at the pool removing both prosthetic legs
now, a water strider, she floated right along with her two kids.

I wait for it to end for the cortisol to stop churning in my gut
For all collectively en masse to IMAGINE
as one famous musician so valiantly put forth
a different alternative.

Meanwhile the "saber rattling" continues.
I wonder what Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr.
would say to this madness.
The military who are lucky enough to return stand tall
on the shoulders of an invisible population.
"Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori."
Can it keep churning out of control like this.
Can I find a way to thank you for
thank you            for?            thank
you?       thank....    
----- think for ourselves at last.      

Sitting with the Old Ones

Winter comes, harsh and searing
Nevertheless 
With a fierce beauty.

I see that ridge along their
Backs a mule, a dachshund.
No amount of roasted chicken for one
And expensive grain and additives for the other
Will camouflage the diminishing flesh
As their back spines rise with age but defiance.

"Look here! These spines carried wonder while
Rooting in the earth and riders to and fro
Pursuing their dreams. " 

I hear their defense.

Slowly my hand behind me fingers my
Back. Startled? Relieved 
My flesh
pulls back, too, as if to hoist forward
My aging, brilliant self.

Language & Pain Issues

      Have you ever experienced any type of pain -mental or physical- that you have never been able to explain to anyone? Sometimes our language doesn't fully encompass everything we want to say, to tell others exactly what we want them to know. Using language to communicate to others is taking what you see in your own head, and transmitting that idea, or that image to another persons' head. If you think about it, it's a type of telepathy. We take something that only we have felt, or experienced in our own unique way, and get others to experience it in a similar fashion.
      But back to the first question, how do we describe pain? How is it that we can feel mental pain in our bodies, and physical pains in our minds. It seems as if the two should be mutually exclusive, when in reality, they aren't. In some complex way, our physical and mental pain have found a way to merge together and create one large writhing mass of discomfort. Right now, my back hurts, but how can I explain the difference between the ache of my upper back from doing homework for 6 hours straight in a wooden chair, and the pain in my lower back from my newly formed stress fractures? Both ache, and are causing me unreasonable amounts of discomfort, and are in very close proximity with one another.
      I am not exactly sure what the point of this post is. It might be that I am unsure of how to express my discomfort, or it may be just a fake-deep way of complaining about the aches in my back. All I'm saying is that it can sometimes be hard to distinguish between small differences using the limited words that are contained in the English vocabulary.

12/2 What I've Been Learning About Social Justice

I’ve been learning a lot about social justice and taking a stand. My eyes have been opened to the many different groups that are fighting for social justice. Why do they have to fight for equal rights? Why cant they just be treated fairly? Ive been thinking about this a lot lately. I don’t understand why it has to be this way. Everyone is equal, so why cant why just treat each other that way? I know this isn’t the way it is, but what’s keeping it from being this way? The quote that we were taught during the beginning of the year really fits in this situation. “Just like me, they want to happy.”

Thomas and I have had an interesting conversations about this last week.  We wrote for a few minutes in class like we usually do, and I shared my thoughts with Thomas about what I wrote. I wrote in my journal about racism and where it comes from. Where does racism come from? How did it start? Why don’t humans just accept and love each other? These are some of the questions that I shared with Thomas. He told me that he has also thought of these questions before, and we had a interesting and enlightening  conversation about the questions I mentioned. Thomas and I both agreed that we couldn’t really think of how and where racism started, and we couldn’t think of how to stop it either. We figured racism has always been there, and it will probably always be a problem. What does racism come from? What things , in todays society and societies of the past, elicit racism?

Emptiness

Why do we look for things of this world to give us security, self confidence, and fulfillment?

I think it's because the message that worldly things can fulfill us is all around us. It's on TV, countless magazines, many songs, and it dominates advertisement. We can't even go to the store without being bombarded by empty promises for a more fulfilling life.
A better husband, boyfriend, wife, car, house, clothing, job, body, etc.
Our thought process becomes distorted and we truly start to believe that if we only have _________ then our lives would be better.
I'm here bring you back to reality: every single thing that this world has to offer is temporary. No person, possession, profession, or position can fill the cup of a wounded, broken, insecure heart.
It is an emptiness only God can fulfill.

In a world where it is so tempting to believe these lies, I urge you to find happiness in yourself.

Affirmations

I find it a little bit unfair that we had to choose just one person to talk about that has inspired us this semester. I understand that specifics are good, but everyone has inspired me in different ways. I also know that had it not been for us being in this University Seminar together, I probably never would have talked to any of you. We are just all going down such different career paths that we probably wouldn't have even known each other. So I’m glad we do!

All of us clearly have things that we stand for, and those things have shown through multiple times throughout the semester. The fact that we were all able to talk with each other freely and openly disagree with things in our discussion-based class is inspiring to me. It is also inspiring to see what fires everyone up and the things that everyone is passionate about. 

One of my favorite class periods was the entry about everyone’s gifts and talents that we later shared with the class. It is important to recognize what we are good at and it gave everyone, or at least me, insight into who you all are as people. 

I hope that everyone feels that they can take away something from this class and getting to know everyone a little better, because I feel that I definitely have. 

We learned this semester that disagreeing with something is okay and that the things that make you mad should make you want to do something to change it, and talking with some of you about what you did your projects over and hearing about what y'all care about is inspiring to me. 

You all  have inspired me in one way or another with something you have shared either from your notebook or with the whole class. 

I hope we are all able to stay in touch and share the things that matter to us with each other, and I hope we keep taking stands for the things that matter to us. 

Thank y'all for a great semester! 

P.S. sorry this is really cheesy

Staying Focused and Calm

Such is easier said than done... But during the final week of the semester it is imperative to stay focused and de-stressed!

There are a number of ways to to accomplish this. Recently, my design professor introduced our class to a time management method called the "pomodoro technique" - named after the tomato shaped kitchen timer. The idea behind the method is that periodic breaks can stabilize and improve mental agility. Personally, this method is helpful to me as it allows me to focus because I know I will soon have a break. Balancing your time, staying focused and distressing are vital to ending the semester successfully!

Small, quick activities are beneficial to taking your mind off of demanding final projects. To help myself unwind, I like to paint my nails, talk to a friend (either down the phone or down the hall), or sing to my favorite songs. To help me chill out, I also like to clean. When my environment is clean, I feel like my head is clear. Organizing my surroundings helps me mentally organize my mental thoughts.

Because we all de-stress in different ways, I've complied some helpful calming methods. Above all, deep breathing is considered essential to relaxation. Breathing deeply calms the body and mind - relaxing both are equally important. The practice instantly elevates your mood as well. Simply draw air from your nose and exhale through your mouth. Practicing simple meditation, yoga or stretching relaxes your muscles aids in relaxing. Taking a quick jog or walk is helpful as well. After relaxing it is easier recollect, and recognize needed to be done and how to go about accomplishing such. If you're in need of a boost - eat a small light snack like nuts, a banana, popcorn! Fix yourself a cup of tea or coffee! Light an incense or candle to awaken your senses (this may not be acceptable if you're in a dorm room)! Likewise, listening to music is a great de-stressor. There are thousands of relaxing, classical, and mellow music playlists. Singing along to a few of your favorites tunes is an instant mood booster! If you enjoy comedic relief, watch a viral video on youtube for a laugh!

Maryville University is aware of our stresses and several events will be held on campus this week. On Monday the 7th, there will be a Serenity Relaxation Station from 10 AM until 4 PM in the DUC. The event is equipped with massage chairs, calm music, and soothing scents! Later that night in the Functional Exercise Room there will be zumba from 6:30-7:30 PM and yoga from 7:30-8:30 PM.
On Tuesday the 8th, there will be puppies on campus from 10 AM - 1 PM!! Cram Jam will be held later that night from 9 PM in the dining hall. There will be snacks available and chances to win free prizes, On the 9th, zumba and yoga will be held again at the same place and time. Furthermore, from December 4th until the 11th, there will be free food for finals located in the Hutting Chapel!

My friends, I hope this post encourages you to stay focused and calm during this tough week! Good luck to you all!

Just A Class

We’ve made it (almost). After next week, we are officially free from the chains of our first semester classes. No more of that dreadful anatomy, or biology, or math, or whatever it was that stressed you out. We can finally stop worrying about our school work (at least, until next semester hits).

When our Usem class ends, will we move on with our lives as if we never took the class? Will we forget the mindfulness bell, the books, the discussions, and videos, the songs, the experiences within a year? Probably, although I wish it weren’t this way.

I’m not sure if you all have the same sentiments as me, but when I finish a class, I drop it from my life fast. I throw my notes away, all the required readings go on the shelf never to be read again, and the knowledge immediately starts seeping out of my brain. It was just a class, another check mark on my way to graduation.

But there is something wrong with treating classes like tasks on a checklist. I don’t want college to be a quest to merely complete courses. I want college to be a quest to expand my mind. Too often, though, I forget that I go to Maryville to expand my mind. I go into my “default” frame of mind: I’ve got to get this done, then that, then I’ll go there, and finish that. Just a bunch of check marks on a list.

As this semester closes I am going to try my best to not let the things I’ve learned this semester evaporate from my mind. I am going to celebrate that my success and knowledge, not all my classes finally being over.

And going into next semester I am going to try my best to look at all my classes not as chores, but as opportunities, explorations, and challenges.

Black Thursday?

Black Friday is easily one of the most exciting days for many consumers. It is the day people are willing to lose sleep to wait in endless lines at stores. It is the day that people will get into physical brawls over merchandise. It is the day that people might even camp outside of a store just to get what they want.

But what happens when Black Friday actually starts on Thursday-- Thanksgiving!!

Many of the stores this year started their door busters at 6 P.M. on Thursday. My family and I typically do partake in the Black Friday festivities, but we don't go out until Friday morning. To me, it just does not seem right that we having people fighting in stores over things they want when it is supposed to be a day to give thanks for all the things that we have. The true meanings of Thanksgiving and Christmas are being buried by greed.

In my opinion, it seems ridiculous that people would be willing to leave their family gatherings to go shopping. In addition, think of all of the workers who are spending their Thanksgiving checking out the endless line of shoppers instead of getting to spend time with their loved one's and give thanks.

From another perspective, it's not solely the selfishness of a customer. Consumers may feel tempted by these great deals and feel the need to go out shopping so they can give their loved ones the best gift possible. The stores may be more to blame. They extend their sale period in order to make more money. In turn, customers are missing out on their Thanksgiving gatherings in order to buy the things they could normally get on Friday.

Some people may choose to shop on Thanksgiving, but I will be choosing to feast with my beautiful family and give thanks!

Grateful

When I got home last Friday, the first thing I noticed when walking in the front door was the smell of delicious food. Sure enough, my mom had a roast ready in the crock pot. I immediately got out a plate and ate and ate and ate. Quite honestly, I nearly ate the whole roast. After weeks of cafeteria food, nothing tasted so good.

I realized, however, that I did not need to thank my mom, but apologize. I used to always complain about having roast for dinner. It was never my favorite. But this instance made me realize how good I had it. The smile on my mom's face was priceless as I confessed how much I took her meals for granted.

Although this is just one example, I think moving away to college has made me realize how much I took for granted before. There was always a delicious home-cooked meal on the table each night. There was always a place to throw my dirty laundry so my mom could wash it for me. There was always a family there to support me, no matter how much they annoyed me at times.

This week has been so fulfilling to get reunited with my friends and family. I am so thankful to have all of these wonderful people in my life who have done so much for me over the years. The saying "we don't realize what we have until it is gone" is so relatable.

Today I am grateful for all the blessings in my life. One of my favorite sayings is "What if we woke up tomorrow with only the things we were grateful for today?" That one line can really make you think. Were you grateful today? What are you taking for granted today?

Money

It controls peoples lives. From they day they are born from they day they die. You are either born poor, middle class, or upper class and you have to choice on which category you get to fall in. Some of us have it great, while others struggle to make ends meet day to day. But why do we as humans prioritize money so much? In the end we all die.

When I was in junior high school and all throughout high school I thought that I just hadddd to make tons of money. One, because I thought I would love to be able to by what ever I want whenever I want. Two, I thought it would make me better than those who did not make as much as me. And sure, it would be fun to make money but does it really make me better? For some reason I was looking at money as power for he longest time until, which I do not know what cause this yet, I looked at money differently. I looked at peoples happiness and what they were doing with their money. Those who seemed to be the happiest were not millionaires but they were the ones with close relationships with their friends and family. Those who were happy took it moments, memories, and the little things that really make this life here on Earth meaningful.

Recently I have decided to stop trying to look for the best way to make a lot of money for my future. I have decided to put it in Gods hands. If I wind up making a bunch of money then so be it. But I have choosen a career path that I think I will love. I want to be a teacher(and wrestling coach). I want to impact the lives of others all around me. I am no longer chasing the so beloved evil of money. I am chasing the happiness of myself, the close relationships that money cannot muy, and I am chasing the respect of everyone around me.

So I ask others to join me. Quit wasting time trying to chase something that in the end does not mean a damn thing because we all die, and chase those moments and feelings you can share with others and impact their lives and generations of lives. Leave your own leagacy, no matter how big or small it is.

Opened Eyes

I know this is a little late, but I wanted to bring up the tunnel of consciousness and my reaction to it. This has been on my mind ever since leaving the tunnel and found it appropriate to bring up again in this blog. One of the major themes that stood out to me while walking through the tunnel was how much discrimination gays, lesbians, homosexuals, and trans genders face. I know this sounds silly, but previously to the tunnel I was oblivious to this.

               I was oblivious primarily because I myself do not, at least to my knowledge, discriminate against them. I do not understand them simply because I am not in their shoes and do not go through the situations that they do. The fact that I myself do not understand is a big enough reason to not judge them. How can I judge someone who I hardly even know, just based on their sexual preference? I think that’s what our society is missing. We label others as different simply because we do not understand them. Maybe, we should try harder to gain this understanding.

               Although I do believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, I also believe that I am not supposed to judge others, and that EVERYONE deserves happiness.

The wall with all of the suicides hung up of people who were discriminated against due to this issue really shook me. I am sensitive to suicide in general, but seeing all of these suicides that resulted from endless bullying and discrimination made me want to throw up. Society can easily prevent these from happening by loving each other despite our differences.
Being raised Lutheran, I was taught that you follow what the bible said, or you would go to hell. Although I am now non-denominational, I still have family members who believe this is true- that certain sins and bad decisions will keep you from getting into heaven. With that being said, one of my aunts recently came out as a lesbian. She was married to a man for several years and has a son who is in his 20’s now. She realized something was missing from her life and got a divorce which led to her meeting an old friend from high school to catch up on life. She explained to us (my family) that it just felt right when she was with her and that she loved her. I didn’t really understand it, but I tried to be as open and loving as possible about the situation. The rest of my family members failed to do the same.
The ridicule my aunt received from some of my family members was ridiculous. FAMILY means loving each other despite our flaws (if you even want to call this a flaw). My aunt is one of the sweetest people on this earth, and I have never seen her this happy.

               After the tunnel, I immediately thought of my aunt and was drowned in sadness because I’m sure she faces the same type of discrimination from people she doesn’t even know.  

Before the tunnel I was oblivious to all of this simply because I myself don’t pay attention to this topic as much as I really should. I was unaware of the severity of this type of discrimination simply because I didn’t participate in it.
 There are many issues in our society today where I have the “I should stay out of it and not judge them” attitude, but that inhibits me from being fully aware of all of the injustices occurring. Isn’t that what this class is all about?  Not just accepting others who are different, but recognizing the social injustices occurring and doing something productive about it?!

Human Trafficking

Paige and I are doing our insertion project over the topic of human trafficking. I remember a speaker coming to my high school and speaking of this industry, and at that time I was in complete shock because I hardly knew anything about it. As we researched information for our pamphlet, I was horrified by some of the facts.

600,000  to 800,000 women, children, and men are bought and sold across international borders every year and exploited for forced labor or commercial sex.

There are 20.9 million victims of trafficking world wide as of 2012.

A $32 billion-a-year industry, human trafficking is on the rise and is in all 50 states. (Yes, it is happening right here around us!)

Human Trafficking has surpassed the illegal sale of arms and in the next few years is estimated to surpass the illegal sale of drugs.

This is clearly a huge industry! A HUGE problem. If this is so common, why do we never hear about this? Is it that people believe it doesn't happen here? Is it because it is such a "black market" that it's not something we are aware of?

Watching videos and reading facts about human trafficking has been sickening. Yet, I believe it has opened my eyes to such an awful injustice that is not talked about enough. More people need to be educated on this so they can identify a potential situation and also help prevent it.

People think slavery was an issue of the past. This is slavery. It still exists and it is a much bigger problem than most people are aware of.

Everyone should "like" the page Let's Stop Human Trafficking on facebook and check out our pamphlet :)