Hold it ALL

Through our class I have also been inspired to go back and re-read the diaries of Rachel Corrie in her book compiled by her family Let Me Stand Alone.  This reflection came after reading an entry by Rachel about caring too much...

The thought just popped in my head, 'How do you hold it all and not break down weeping continuously?'  Rachel writes how she would be unstoppable if she could quit caring.  Would it really be such a ball?  Mark first introduced me to the quote "Hold it all."  Can't remember where it comes from but I feel it has very Buddhist vibes.. hold it all... be one with it all.. really let is all sink in and fuse into the particles of your being.  That makes me want to SCREAM and cry all at the same time!  When I hold it all I feel the suffering of my sisters, broken and abused by so many for so long.  I feel the hungry stomachs of starving children.  I feel the isolation and despair of the rejected.  And I feel the hurt and confusion of those whose homes and families are destroyed and ultimately those who do the destroying.  It's too much to hold it all.  But ALL is NOT all suffering.  All means joy and dreams.  All means there is celebration despite difficulty.  All means little and big achievements.  All means places where those who have nothing give to the stranger.  All means being witness to the tears, sharing a drink, and joining in the dance.  ALL isn't all sadness, just a part.  It is still overwhelming to hold it ALL, but it is all LIFE.  I imagine God as a big mama with a bountiful lap gathering us, gathering it all, into her lap and just holding us.  I am held, even as I hold it all... We hold each other.