scrubbing a broken heart

Monday. It feels like a bad dream but
no awakening today.
The darkness eerily familiar, left foot than
right.
This layer of skin is too transparent.
A tear escapes, concealed behind plastic and cotton.
I am tired. empty. raw.

I tear one layer from another, there is
a sweet comfort in scrubbing clean.
One, two, three, four. repeat. index, middle, ring...
you get the idea.
Imagine iodine scrubbing away the blemishes,
splash the water & let it carry away the pain.
It rolls down the forearm, drips from the elbow. cold. chilling.
no awakening today.

"The most important thing,
don't contaminate yourself". Please doc,
tell me HOW? Keep clean, no mistakes
shit, no awakening today.