Monday, December 31, 2012

We are Friends

“She is my friend and we play together.  We are neighbors too.  She and her family are our new neighbors.  We are really good friends too!”  He informed me excitedly as I first walked in the cafeteria last week at lunch time.

He was beaming.  I don’t remember ever seeing him this happy.  He is a beautiful sensitive nine year old boy from Iraq who has been struggling with making friends since he arrived six weeks earlier, more than two weeks after the new school year has started. Because of his almost non-existent English, he was too shy to attempt making friends with students from other nationalities. And for one reason or another he also struggled getting along with the few boys who speak his language all of whom are at least 12 years old or older.  He was in tears most days. 
After several attempts at trying to make peace, I made a suggestion that maybe he would be better off not hanging out the older boys and that he should give his non-Arabic speaking classmates a chance.  He followed only half of my advice and for the next few days, I would often find him having lunch by himself.  Sometimes, I would sit with him and we would make small talk.  At other times, I would invite a couple of other kids to join us.  Not knowing how long this solitary behavior would last, I started to seriously question the validity of the piece of advice I gave and worried even more about him. 
To my relief, as I walked into the cafeteria the following week I saw him with a beautiful girl, about his age, sitting at his table eating her lunch quietly.  The conversation that ensued kind of put my worries to rest.  I could see that he was feeling happier. 
He could barely contain his excitement.  His beaming smile lighting up the whole cafeteria, he introduced me to his new friend.  “She is my friend.  We play together.”  He told me.  “She is in my class,” he added.  “I help her because she is new and I know more English.  And she helps me with math because she is good at math,” he continued cheerfully.   “She is my friend, my neighbor and my classmate.” 
“So everything is OK now?”  I asked.  “Everything is great.  We are friends,” still smiling, he repeated the three beautiful words, “we are friends.”

October 2012

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