Criminal Minds

There are two pigs loose in Fenton,

Have you heard? Wilbur the pig

has been caught; the other is still

At-large.

Apparently someone’s strawberry patch

is decimated and the raucous twosome

have made light of fences and other gardens.

No one has been hurt.

The one was pictured in social media wearing little plastic, red boots.

(Was that Wilbur or his cohort?) 

((Really? As they say in up-speak these days)).

So probably Wilbur is corralled but his cohort

forges on, dangerous and at-large.

How could this actually happen?

Some say he suckered a security guard

to assist with the planned escape.

With her help, an underground tunnel was dug over a month.

This, with the help of a power saw,

(You can imagine that those small but fierce hooves

are apt tools, once in motion).

Most assume that Wilbur’s partner is long gone

Even close to the Canadian border by now.

It is true that the female security guard finally squelled

confessing her role in their escape.

She couldn’t help herself, she said, as she

Fell in love with the one.  She knows now--

deeply regrets her culpability,

she told a reporter when interviewed.

So as of now, Wilbur’s partner is not to be seen or heard from.

Everyone who has a heart hopes

he isn’t killed when reprehended,

as we all assume he eventually will be.

In any case, all minds are on to the next thing

And interest wanes even as I write this.

But they say he may be close to the Canadian border by now.

And do you think he still has those red boots on?

Surely a border guard will notice?