4 Years

4 Years

4 years has taught me what Steinbeck said,  “now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good”.

4 years taught me my worth is not measured by my GPA, the programs I am rejected from, the programs I turn down, or the awards I do and do not receive.

4 years has taught me that a personal poem means a lot more than an award announced by a man in a suit and bow tie.

4 years has taught me that I do not need approval, I just need love.

That the ones who really matter won’t tell me what is right and what is wrong.

That they won’t judge, or roll their eyes, or tell me I’m not being rational.

4 years has taught me that my mom will always be my #1 fan

4 years has taught me that I will always be hers.

4 years has taught me to dream

and to also be here now.

4 years has taught me I love brick

4 years has given me a coffee addiction

and more importantly coffee shops

The quiet solitude that comes from a black coffee and Keroac on a cold winter morning

and the exuberant life that comes from discussion with Che’s in the making.

4 years has taught me to slow down

and to procrastinate.

4 years has taught me to not be okay

and to be okay with not being okay.

4 years has taught me to read cancer facts out loud, to a group of strangers, without stuttering.

4 years has taught me to act on a whim

Playing outside in the rain, dancing to the sound of tornado sirens are definitely risks worth taking

that 3 am sledding is never a bad decision.

4 years has taught me that people matter

and their stories matter

and sometimes the people that seem the strongest, are really just about to crumble

and sometimes you just have to hold them really tight

and believe they’re going to be okay

4 years has taught me that home grown tomatoes

will always be better than store bought ones

and that eating fresh food is great

except on tax day when roller grill items from the Quicktrip are free

4 years has taught me that distance doesn’t need to mean anything.

4 years has taught me to not sit still

4 years has taught me to not be quiet

4 years has taught me “gracias a dios” and “que dios te bendiga” and that faith doesn’t need to be a scary thing.

4 years has taught me that moccasins are more comfortable than heels

and dirt is more fun than cubicles

4 years has taught me to be skeptical

and to not believe everything people say

to question the norm

and work to change the norm.

4 years has taught me who Mev was and who Ann was

and who I am.

4 years has taught me to be me

4 years has taught me to be happy

4 years has taught me that candles can create energy strong enough to move fans

and that nature can create rain strong enough to destroy lives

4 years has taught me that being afraid of dogs is better than being afraid of inadequacy

4 years has taught me that vulnerability is not a weakness

4 years has taught me a lot in social work classes in Tegler

4 years has taught me even more outside the classroom

4 years in North City, South City, El Salvador

4 years has taught me what not to do, who not to be, who not to follow

4 years has taught me how to write grants,

theology papers and even research papers….with passion

4 years has taught me that having more than one home

to say goodbye to is not painful,

it’s a gift.

4 years has given me a million reasons to say thank you.

So thank you…mom, dad, family, best friends, SLU professors, SLU faculty, Mark, Writing to Wake Up Companions, Sharers of Wealth, Sara, Mama Angelica, the Portillo family, coffee shop workers, Janiene, Mona, Geri, Kingdom House clients, Kingdom House staff, man that sits outside Kingdom House, Maria, casa Romero, Mev, Oscar Romero, Padre Dean, William, SLU casa family, the climbers and the crafters, the Tortillas for Tepecoyo supporters and so many more. Thank you.