Friday, January 25, 2013

Dear Addict

I am methadone. I
Course through your veins, numbing your true addictions.
I am methadone. I
Hide you from your true self.
I am methadone. I
Take the edge off, just enough.

I am methadone. I
Am Toddlers in Tiaras, the cathartic study abroad experience, the Gestalt need for order.
I am methadone. I
Am Valentine's Day, Gun Rights Legislation, and being pre-med.
I am methadone. I
Am the time you waste worrying. Get a real job.

I am methadone.
Peter Pan's fairy dust to Neverland to never wake up.
I am methadone.
Watching you run away from the honest, sad, rawness of your broken humanity.
I am methadone.
Use me to escape. Slap me on that oozing wound: reality.

Dear Addict,
Wake up to your present
Embrace your opiate.
Abandon attempts to abandon the gritty nuances of real life.
Love.
                                                            Love,
                                                                 Methadone.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

an excerpt

an excerpt from a reflection on my evening discussing The Struggle Is One ...

Is a book written about the reality of life in Brazil 20+ years ago still relevant today? Is this spirit and practice of liberation theology still pertinent and at work today? I think it is, now more than ever. I see the work being done by those who were inspired maybe 40 years ago and are still in the struggle. I see a generation of young people connected to the world in ways previously unimagined, and inspired to work for change through these connections. The reality has changed, but we still belong to one another. The faces of those in power, those who abuse their power, or do anything to maintain it, might have changed, but there is still truth to be spoken. And it quite frankly still needs to come from those on the bottom, those at the base, whose struggle is a daily struggle to survive, to find and create beauty and order, to maintain their hope and exercise their joy. We need to first listen to one another's stories, and then share them with others. That was a beautiful part of the gathering this evening and many such similar gathering on Sunday evenings: the sharing of stories to inspire one to discover and share their own story.

And we are constantly writing our own stories. We have the power of text. The words we choose to use, the conversations we seek out or don't shy away from, the questions we ask. Text can inspire, can move someone to action, can reawaken one's own imagination. What is the story that I am telling? What will others glean from my text? If I returned to Brazil and interviewed these same people, I am sure their stories have changed. It would be a completely different book. And that's beautiful. Our stories do change. From one chapter to the next, the text can take us in all different directions when new characters and situations are introduced. Whether something worked or didn't in the past isn't the question to ask. We need to look at our current context to determine what new ideas we might be able to dream up.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Freedom



Month off between semesters
14-hour days
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Smiling at mile 18 of marathon
Straining to do five pushups
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

“We are pleased to accept you as a Corps member”
“We are unable to take many qualified candidates”
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

153 people came to the protest
Fund-raiser a bust
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Acclaimed as a rock star
Denounced as a sell-out
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Seven thousand miles from home
Stuck in traffic two miles from home
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Unconditional parental love
Extremely conditional parental love
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
Triple espresso with a free extra shot
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

39 on MCAT
134 on LSAT
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

“A visionary work of astonishing perspicuity!”
“How is such adolescent drivel even allowed to be published?”
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Hit on seven times in the space of three long city blocks
Totally ignored on the bus day after day
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Dow Jones is having a great day
Portfolio takes a big hit
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

73 Likes
22 Friends
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

“BFF!”
“Don’t ever text me again!”
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances

Perfect tan
Thinning hair
Don’t be swayed by external circumstances


Refrain is one of 59 mind-training slogans (lojong) in Tibetan Buddhist tradition; see Pema Chödrön's commentary, Start Where You Are.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Community


I believe in community.
I believe in community
because our happiness is only 10% determined by the circumstances we are born in to
Which leaves 90% up to us to choose
I believe in community 
because it holds us accountable.
Accountable to not necessarily do something.
But to BE something.
Community makes you talk 
and makes you dream
Holds you accountable to chase those dreams. 

Monday, January 14, 2013

seeing my mom (a waking dream)

after I saw her, I cried and cried
and realized how calm she was
and accepting
in spite of everything -
and she stood there
with that homemade purse of hers
(I couldn't see it but I knew she had it)
she was behind the front desk in the shop
I was so surprised -
and then she was gone
and besides acceptance
she told me
its just stuff

Good Citizens

I first encountered The Miracle of Being Awake (later published as The Miracle of Mindfulness) in 1982, when a monk from the Abbey of Gethsemani gave me a mimeograph of an English translation of a manual for social workers in Vietnam. In the 30 years since then, Thich Nhat Hanh has applied his simple message of mindfulness to many key areas of our lives: The environment, healthy eating, peacemaking, public service, anger, intimate relationships, among many others.

I read one of Thầy’s most recent books, Good Citizens: Creating Enlightened Society, in which he uses Buddhist fundamentals to sketch how we can become better public selves. Seeking a broad audience, neither religious nor not necessarily “spiritual” either, he invites people to consider the Buddhist pragmatism as found in the Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, and the Five Wonderful Mindfulness Trainings. At 144 pages, the book can be read in a fairly short time; integrating it, however, may require many years of practice.

In encouraging people to become good citizens, Thầy leaves it to his readers to apply these teachings in our own contexts. It is there and then that we may learn a great deal about how good, mindful, compassionate citizens are characterized, at least when they dare to question the prerogatives of the powerful.

For example, here in Saint Louis, two of the most powerful corporations in the country have a comfortable home—Boeing and Monsanto. Their public relations departments will enthusiastically remind us that they are true benefactors to the community since they support our schools, universities, arts, and charities.

Obviously, Boeing is an integral part of the military-industrial complex, which enables U.S. militarism to be without peer in the world. Yet the corporation’s operations are linked to the violation of the first mindfulness training, which calls for reverence for life, and reads as follows:

“Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating the insight of interbeing and compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to support any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, or in my way of life. Seeing that harmful actions arise from anger, fear, greed, and intolerance, which in turn come from dualistic and discriminative thinking, I will cultivate openness, non-discrimination, and non-attachment to views in order to transform violence, fanaticism, and dogmatism in myself and in the world.”

Imagine, for a moment, that some local citizens aren’t so impressed by Boeing’s contribution to the commonweal. Suppose they want to help their fellow citizens become more aware of the suffering in the world and so begin a campaign to highlight Boeing’s products, which generates its profits. One part of such a campaign could be a mobile photo exhibition around the city to show the bodily effects of Boeing’s products on expendable peoples in the Middle East and West Asia.

Even assuming that such citizens do the above with some mindfulness, is it likely that the Boeing executives and employees, their allies in the university, and their friends in the community at large will look upon those people as “good citizens”? Or is it more likely that they would be seen as “anti-American” or “soft on terrorism”?

A “good citizen” in Thầy’s mindful sense may be a “bad citizen” from the standpoint of a nation’s dominant power interests. I recall first hearing the expression “a good German” back in the 1980s. Said ironically, it referred to those German citizens who were “good” in that they were obedient, quiet, and passive during the Third Reich.

In 1943 in the eyes of the Nazi state, Sophie Scholl and other young members of the White Rose Movement were considered “bad citizens,” nay, traitors, for distributing leaflets calling on their fellow German citizens to oppose Hitler’s tyrannous rule. To many around the world today, the White Rose members are viewed as among the most exemplary citizens in Germany from those horrible years.

–––Sophie Scholl

“The real damage is done by those millions who want to ‘survive.’ The honest men who just want to be left in peace. Those who don’t want their little lives disturbed by anything bigger than themselves. Those with no sides and no causes. Those who won’t take measure of their own strength, for fear of antagonizing their own weakness. Those who don’t like to make waves—or enemies. Those for whom freedom, honour, truth, and principles are only literature. Those who live small, mate small, die small. It’s the reductionist approach to life: if you keep it small, you’ll keep it under control. If you don’t make any noise, the bogeyman won’t find you. But it’s all an illusion, because they die too, those people who roll up their spirits into tiny little balls so as to be safe. Safe?! From what? Life is always on the edge of death; narrow streets lead to the same place as wide avenues, and a little candle burns itself out just like a flaming torch does. I choose my own way to burn.”
–Sophie Scholl

Sunday, January 13, 2013

new world order

the leader of the former Soviet Union retired under the Red flag,
slipped into his pink silk pajamas, burying himself in down comforters

the representative from the Georgian Republic, smoking heavily, climbs
mountains with abandon

the Chech Republic has only a clock in Prague to sing its praise, the blinded clockmaker sleeping beneath the rolling street sweeper's carts

Italy's stones cover Roman floors and Byazntine walls the same as
St Louis drive-by shootings and drugs surrender to a winter snowfall

Chicago's got the mob, New York, the police and Sicily the Mafia - any one of the forementioned, given the proper donation, will protect you

In California you have the Chicanos, in Wyoming the popular term is wetbacks, everywhere they're illegal (how is a person illegal?)

Hispanics by need, Blacks by force, work-hungry Italians, famine Irish, have slipped in the door (front or back, it doesn't matter) so long as one can eat.

the vision of America lies in the soul of its people, in war, in peace, beside the murdered schoolchild as well as the gardener giving thanks

the vision of the world's people lis in the millisecond between the taps of computer keys witnessing the daily news

"Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee."